This is a message I gave in parts of Romania. I fought giving this message. I am not a preacher or teacher.  God had to give this message through me. The evil one kept telling me if I gave this message, I would offend someone or they won’t have me back. WOW! Did God bless! I pray if you have been hurt or you have bitterness against someone, this will bring about forgiveness and you can forgive or get forgiveness. Ask God to speak to your heart as you read this message on forgiveness.
May God bless,
Ralph Parnell

“LICKING OUR WOUNDS”
MATTHEW 5:7
BEATTUDE # 5 – MERCIFUL

1. Have you ever witness two dogs engaged in a fight where one dog stronger-one dog weaker.

June of 2004, my friend and I went to Romania on a mission trip. We were walking from the
house we stayed to the church. As we were walking, there were some dogs that were running a dog out of their territory. The dogs were biting at the weak dog’s heals as it was trying it’s best to get away. I notice that the weaker dog’s pride was damaged pretty badly. He went over to the side licking his wounds.

That is the way we are at times, aren’t we? When someone hurts out “feelings”, our pride is damaged; we go over the side and lick our wounds. We go home and we say; “We will never go back to that church again.” No body likes me. I will just quit going to church and quit serving God. Do we say that, maybe not out loud but in out our minds. I’ve been there and maybe you have too..

A few years ago in a church that I used to be a member, I got my feelings hurt. There was something said about me that wasn’t true. Before I knew it, it was all over the church. I was hurt and I said I would never go back. If this is what Christians are, I want no part of it. I wanted to stand before the church and give them a piece of my mind if not all of it. I was so angry.

C) Then the voice of God spoke to my spirit. “I love you. Look how many times lies were told on my son, Jesus. I still love them. Look how my son suffered for you. Will you suffer for me? I will make you strong. I will show my power through you. Trust me! It was only the Grace of God that I stayed in that church. Through God I was made strong.

2. You say, “I want to treat people the way I want them to treat me.

They treat me bad, I treat them bad. They treat me good, I treat them good.

A) Through God, positive things you do for the Lord will come back to you. You love them any way.

B) However, all the negative things and past sin you leave in your life will rule your life. You will end up just like them or worst. You can’t change some one, only God. Then, they will have to let God to change them.

Galatians 6:7. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, he will also reap.” Don’t you want to sow good things? Years ago, I bought some cucumber seeds. (I thought) When then came up, they were watermelons. This year, I planted yellow squash. Well it came up as Butternut squash. Be careful what you sow. You might not like what it turns out to be.

Matthew 7:2 “For with that judgment you judge, you will judged; and with the measured back to you.

Remember, it is impossible to give something away because in the end it will come back to you.

It does not matter what happens to me, It is how I react to the situation. I can be very angry or I can give it totally to God and let Him work it out for the best. Trust me; it is much better to let God take it than we try work it out ourselves.

3. If we treat people kindly with true love, it will come back to you in the end.

A) The more you treat people with Godly love, the more you get back. How can get angry over true love? I would be angry with myself because I didn’t know to accept true love. Some times you get hurt when people won’t speak to you or they think they are on a higher level than you. How sad. We have to love them no matter how we are treated. There some people in this world that I can only love through God. I couldn’t do it myself. God in the end will bless you and show them you are real. That is what I like…REAL PEOPLE. You will know where they stand.

B) You beat a dog, he will bite you. Pet and love the dog, it will be your friend. It’s same in our lives. If I go out and serve God in a Godly way and let God work through me, we will get results. Don’t try to serve God in His ministry without Him with you.

4. (Verse 7) Do we have a problem with being merciful?

A) Before we can be merciful to others, we MUST be merciful to self. We must forgive ourselves as God forgives us. We must accept who we are. Accept yourself knowing that Jesus accepted you just as you are. We are loved as much as the rich. We are loved as much as the poor. We are loved as much as the “elite.” If you are a child of GOD or not a child of God, God still loves you as much. YOU have to accept God as your Savior and live for Him to go to Heaven. God loves us as much as He loves anybody on this earth. We have to accept people as their self and let God change them. We can not change them in our strength.

5. Is it that we can’t be merciful because… we hold resentment in our lives?

A) Do we have jealously in our heart? Do we have the feeling that someone is a threat to us? Are we afraid they will tear down out little world? Are we afraid they will find out how we lived before we were saved? Didn’t we give our past to God when we asked Him to come into our lives and be our Savior? If we did, we don’t have it any more. The day we got saved, we started a new life. Now we some times suffer from our past sins. The sin is gone but what did we do to have to suffer the consequences.

If we have a problem with these things, then down deep within our hearts, we must learn to deal with a lack of positive self-image. Simply meaning … Our reactions are the result of hidden wounds and deep hurts needed to be released to the Lord and be healed and taken out of our lives.

6. Steps to being healed.

A) You must know in your heart you are NOT alone. God is always there. He will walk you through it. It is not always easy but through the fire, you will not be burned. God will show up.

B) You must realize everyone has been wounded by someone in their lives. (There are times when someone we love and are very close to who hurt us)

C) You must realize that some times there are wounds being afflicted on ourselves by ourselves. We want to blame others. We have to forgive ourselves. We can’t change the past but with God, we can change the future. He is our future. He is the only future.

7. The hidden wounds we carry around every day, what were the weapons that that inflect them within our hearts?

A) Let’s take a look at Jesus wounds on the cross; 1. Nails, 2. Whip, 3. A spear, 4. Thorns, but… His hidden Wound was a KISS from one of His own disciples.

B) The weapons that have wounded us were probably as common as the kiss. Maybe some were words, looks, body language, someone turn their back on you. Maybe someone thought they were better than you, maybe you are not in their click.

C. Some times “Christians” can be very mean. I have met them. How many times have you pass someone in church and when they see you they turn their head or go another way to keep from speaking to you? Have you ever passed someone in the market place and they turn their head or turn and go the other way. If you live long enough, you will. I used to catch up with them and make them speak. (I know that was the wrong reproach.)

8. The question is; what do we do with these hidden wounds? How do we handle them?

A) First of all, don’t nurse them. The worst thing you can do is relive them. Remember when the wounds may have come from Mom, Dad, or close friends when you were small children? That is reliving them. They have come to your mind all of your life.

B) Don’t curse them. Don’t let your wounds turn you into a bitter and angry person. It will steal the life right out from under you. It will ruin your life.

C) We must not rehearse our wounds. We can’t put aside or give them to God if we keep talking and keeping them alive. They will control us in everything we do. They will never go away. We then turn our lives over to bitterness and anger. That will turn into hate and more sin.

WE MUST NEVER ALLOW ANGER TO CONTROL OUR LIVES! NEVER!

9. You say, well? What do we do with them?

A) First if you have not given your life totally to God, then do so. Ask Him to come into your life and save you. You MUST be born again and have a personal relationship with Him.( If you need to do this, go to the faith page and read it. Then call me and I will pray for you and with you.)

B), Then give your anger and hurt totally to God. Give your life total life to Him. Do not hold anything back. Come as you are. He wants you that way.

C) Start visiting hurting people. Visit the sick, pray with and for them. Share the burdens of other people. That way we can drown our hurts. We will see people hurting more than we ever did.

10. How do we handle our hidden wounds?

A) Reverse them. Turn our hurts by sharing them as a testimony. Use them to help turn other people’s lives around. With God’s help, He can turn our wounds into compassionly thoughtful and caring human beings.


Let me tell you a true story that happen in my life.

I was married to a wonderful Godly Lady for 19 years. She loved people. No matter who they were, she had a Godly love for them. From 1980 to 1991, she was a very sick lady. The year 1980, she was involved in a very bad accident in which an 18 wheeler ran over the car which she was riding in. She was in the hospital for 41 days. (Which is another story I will share some time.) She was in a hospital bed for another 3 months. In a wheelchair for another 6 weeks. She could not walk until God healed her legs. Her desire was to go to church again. The Sunday after she came home from the hospital, we took her to church. We had her in a wheelchair with 5 pillows all around her. That Sunday morning, I rolled her to the front of the church to sing a song, the alter was full. God did heal her from this wreck. For the next 11 years, her health went down. She was a very bad diabetic. Through this sickness, she lost her sight, and she lost one leg. Within a couple of weeks, she found out she had cancer. Now, here is a lady that loved the Lord and serving him teaching, singing, and working in children’s church right beside me every week she could. This is just a little bit of her life before she was hurt very bad.

The last 2 years of her life, (With her being in a wheelchair) she served God with all of her life. Let me say this. It doesn’t matter how much you love the Lord and how much you serve Him, someone out there don’t like you. Even if you greet everyone with a Godly love. Well…someone didn’t like us. We received three letters within 1990 -1991 letting us know that.

The person or persons would cut out words from magazines and paste them on the paper. It would say things like you are a preacher clone, here is some coupons to buy food with. The coupons would be expired. Some other mean things that I won’t mention. The first two I read them to her.

Then we received the third one. This one I never told her about. At this stage, she was very sick and did not have long to live. The letter said basically the same thing but this time they drew a picture. It was a picture of her in a wheelchair with a patch over one eye and with one leg. They had written above the picture; “poor little thing.” I went through the roof. The ANGER PIERCED MY BODY, MY MIND, MY THINKING! I was raging with anger. I wanted to find this person or persons.

At that time, I was over Sunday school at my church. I went to my pastor and let him read the letter. He was furious! He settle down but I didn’t. I went down to the Sunday school office and went through every Sunday school roll and look at every name and how they had filled out the information page. They did make one mistake. They wrote our name and address on the envelope in their handwriting. So, I match their handwriting to the handwriting on the envelope.

BINGO! There were two handwritings that match. One was a very dear sweet lady I know would never do this. The other, had to be the person. Looking at the person’s life, it had to be it. Everything was perfect.

The anger swelled in my soul. I wanted to kill him. (Thank God I was a Christian.) My pastor clamed me down and I just went home. Every time I went to church, I would make a point to find this person and shake their hand with a hard hand shake. I would smile and say I’m praying for you. May you have a great week. It is so good to see you. I did that for a year or so after the Lord had took my wife home to be with Him.

I could not turn loose those letters. I would read them just about every day. I was so hurt and bitter. I wanted to go to that person but I could not prove it. I wanted so bad to know. The letters were on my mind when I got up in the morning and there when I went to bed at night.

I will never forget it. It was on a Monday night when my pastor showed up at my door. The Lord had been dealing with me about the letters. I kept them in my night stand next to my bed. When the pastor came in and sat down on the couch, I know God had sent him. God spoke to my spirit. Go get the letters and give them to the pastor. I fought it. I said no, I want to find out who it was. God spoke to my spirit one more time. Go and get the letters.

I looked at my pastor and said I will be right back. I went into the bedroom just about broken in my spirit and got the letters out of the drawer. It took everything within me to get the letters and give them to my pastor.

As I carried them to the pastor, I saw him smiling. He knew why he was there and I did too. God was working. I said to my pastor, “I can not get rid of these letters. Will you take them and destroy them for me?” He reached out his hand and took them and with them the anger and bitterness left with them. He prayed with me and I let go all the anger and bitterness within my soul. After that, I was a free man. Yes I did think of them again and I have ran into this person many times since then. I see him almost every week. But, there is no anger or bitterness just pity and love that only God could minister with in me.

Today I still see this person even in the church that I am a member of. I still pray for this person. Some times I wonder if God gives me a test or teaching me a love when I pass someone and I see no Christian love or someone that thinks they are on a higher level than I.

11. Forgive someone that has deeply hurt you? INPOSSIBLE!!!! Yes, It would be for us but not with God!

A) Who is a better teacher on Forgiveness than the Lord Jesus Himself!

B) Remember what Jesus said on the cross? Forgive them for they know NOT what they do.

C) Jesus is an expert on Forgiveness.

D) He can heal you from those hidden wounds that you have and can not turn loose.

E) Just come as you are and He will be waiting.

Let me end with this.
If we are merciful, God can release us from those bitter, angry attitudes that can and will destroy our lives. If we follow God’s plan (that is the Bible)…God’s Holy word and a personal relationship with Him, we can have a joyful life right here on this earth. First we must allow Jesus to come into our lives and take control and then we will have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ Our Savior. That is the only way to get to Heaven through Jesus Blood. Would you like to do that right now? You can right where you are. Is it pride that is holding you back? Do you think you have arrived and you got all it takes? If you do, I pity you and I will pray for you. Let’s don’t be like the weak dog. Let’s stand for Jesus!


You will never forgive anyone more than God has already forgiven you.


God has blessed me more than I could tell or write since then. Pat went to be with the Lord in 1991. In 1993, God put another Godly lady in my life. Merle is my right arm, my prayer warrior, and my wife. We were married for 17 years this past July 18 2010. It seems like we have been together for ever. We have been on many mission trips, Merle teaching a Bible Study in our home on Tuesday nights, and He uses us in many ways. He will use us until He takes us home to be with Him. Praise the lord!

Since then, I have been through 2 car wrecks. One July 3rd. 1993 and the second one in Bucharest, Romania in the year 2000. In that wreck, seven went to the hospital. The devil has TRY to take me out since I was borned. I wiegh in at 2 lbs. when I was born. At the age of 9 years old, I was hit by a car that almost took me out. A lot of small wrecks. Then in 1993, a guy driving drunk hit me in the back and that put me out of work. Then in 2000, a car hit us head-on and a another car hit us in the back, and we hit a building. You know? I'M STILL HERE devel! God is NOT finish with me yet. Praise the Lord. One minister of music said one time, "When God gets through with you, He will kill you and take you on home." He said that jokely but how true it is. At the time of this writing, I am 67 years young. I can't do half of what I used to do but, I can do what He wants me to do and will show me how to do it.

Visit our web page and learn a little about us. www.heartbeathomepage.org

If you are not saved and have questions about giving your life to the Lord Jesus, write to us and we will try to lead you to the lord. God Bless you.
May God Bless.
Ralph & Merle Parnell
Ralph4God@charter.net

Ralph Parnell
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